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If you are baffled by the language of the haggis hunters, do not be ashamed. Many have been left floundering by the arcane idiolect of this ancient pursuit.
Indeed, the great language expert Dr Johnston found himself at a loss when he and the redoubtable Boswell encountered a group of haggisers during their famous tour of the Highlands. The great father of lexicography is reputed to have told his amiable traveling companion: “Of their speech I understood one word in twenty, and that was most coarse and seemed to refer to my mother.”
But fear not, haggishunt have come to your aid with our handy print out and keep guide to haggis jargon.
Drumnadrochit: The onomatopoeic expression for a clean strike on a haggis with a meuran. The “drumna” refers to the rumbling approach of a haggis hunter. The “droch” imitates the swish of the weapon. The “hit” bit is self-explanatory. A settlement was named in honour of this noise after a particularly successful hunt.
Erse: The ancient pursuit of Haggis Hunting has encompassed all the many cultures and languages that have touched Scotland. However, Gaelic has remained at the heart of the sport, with many of the technical terms coming from “the language spoken in the Garden of Eden”. When Haggis Hunting was revived in the 19th century, haggisers took great pride in mastering this language, which they referred to using the Lowland term for Gaelic, “Erse”. Nowadays, if a haggiser is suspected of having only a superficial knowledge of his craft he is said not to know his “Erse from his elbow”.
Fobhríste: The technical term for a haggis den. In a bizarre linguistic twist, a very similar word appears in some mythical Norse poems. A direct connection between the two seems unlikely as the Nordic term means “deep, dangerous, delving labyrinth filled with death”, while a fobhríste is a lightly pungent depression under a clump of heather.
Fou: Completely and utterly prepared to hunt the haggis. In order to mask their scent, the haggis hunters douse themselves in whisky. They also walk with a weaving gait so that they are able to stalk more effectively (see Haggis Hunting Techniques). Once they have finished these preparations they are declared to be “fou”.
Havering: This is the correct technical term for haggis stalking. It is a peculiarity of the haggis that it cannot see something that is not moving in a straight line.
Hud yer wheesht: The haggis hunters sturdy plaid cloak is known as a “wheesht” because of the swishing sound it makes when worn loose. However, as the hunter stalks nearer to the prey he gathers the cloth about him to deaden the noise of his approach. He tells his companions to do the same by saying “Hud yer wheesht” (“hold your cloak”). This expression has entered colloquial conversation as a means of requesting silence and its origins have largely been forgotten in the general populace.
Meuran: This is the standard tool of the haggis hunter. It looks like a cross between a mashie-niblick and a sack of oats, which is in fact exactly what it is. Designed to deliver a stunning blow across a wide area, this weapon is fearsome in the hands of a master, and lethal in the clutches of a novice.
Nyaff: An inadvertent noise often made by someone who has caught a sore one after standing too close to a novice haggis hunter as he practices his meuran swing.
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